Do you ever feel like lying on the floor for an afternoon avoiding all confrontation and the endless life responsibilities? I felt that way last week. My partner was out of the country on a business trip with his job, thus giving me some time to myself. He was away less than five days and after two days of fiance-freedom, my days turned into fiance-blues.
I like to think of myself as a strong, independent (sometimes stubborn) woman. I’ve never “needed” a man in my life. Wanted, yes. Needed, no. If I needed someone, that would make me dependent on another person and that just wouldn’t work! I wanted to adventure out, explore life, and see the world as an independent woman. At least that’s the woman I thought I wanted and this week I discovered the reality of who I’ve become.
A Dependent Woman.
Uh…so when did this happen!? Have I seriously become one of those women who post pictures as a couple all the time on Facebook declaring to the world her love? Do I really spend all my time with my partner watching movies, shopping, and hanging out? Are my friends now his friends and his friends, mine? Have I no shame in this terribly cliche lifestyle?!
Okay, I’m being a little overdramatic here. But, can you blame me? Here I am walking around thinking I’m all independent and promoting “girl power” when I’ve somehow walked into a completely dependent relationship. After much consideration and analyzation on this subject (because I had time on my hands last week fiance-less), I’ve figured out how I got into this dependent situation.
Shameless Reason’s Why I’m A Dependent Woman:
- I like that that someone else is willing to help me make dinner
- I like that I don’t always have to wash dishes and do housework all by myself
- I enjoy watching TV and movies with someone next to me
- I don’t fall asleep alone. Someone’s got my back. Literally, he always has a hand on my back. If he doesn’t, I’ll scooch my butt back until he puts his hand on me. 🙂
- When I am stressed, he is calm.
- When he is stressed, I am organized and ready to help.
- Someone is always around to make me laugh.
- Someone is always around to hug me when I cry.
- He doesn’t judge me for my ridiculous sense of humor or embarrasses me in front of friends.
- He’s dependent on me and I am dependent on him.
I don’t say this enough, but I got really lucky in life with the man I found. I never cared much for dating and so early on in my twenties, I found someone that fits with me. Even though we get frustrated with each other at times, I love that we don’t allow ourselves to hold grudges against one another. Without his sense of calm present in my life, I cannot imagine how I could have handled going through the journey to London alone. I’m a dependent woman…and I kinda like it…
Note: One month until our wedding day. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!