Illusions & Rollercoasters (& Tea)

Lately a quote has been popping into my head. Repeatedly.

It’s a quote from Rabbi David Wolpe in a book* I read for one of my college theology classes:

“Sometimes it seems that a plan is a useful illusion until life figures out where you really should be headed.”

I’m not sure why this quote has been stuck in my head. It’s been years since I took that class, and this is not a post about the plans I had/have for my life. Aly is the half of this duo who always has a plan. I, normally, do not.

I guess this is really all just another way of saying that you never know what’s going to happen in life.

Eighteen days ago, I, with my fiancé and friends, arrived in Iceland. Fifteen days ago, we arrived in London. Twelve days ago, my best friend in the world was married. Eleven days ago, I found out my grandma was dying. Ten days ago, after an abrupt end to travel, I was there with my family when she found her way to heaven.

My head is reeling. My head is too lethargic and slow to “reel.” I’m too tired to write in anything other than cliches: It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions.

But I’m here.

I’m here, and I’m sharing this with you because this experience is not unique to me. Highest highs and lowest lows, plans and illusions, joy and grief, it’s all part of the human experience.

Numbness is too.

Soon, I will write about my grandma, a woman of unequal kindness and love, and celebrate her life. Soon, I will write about the wonders of my trip, the waterfalls and castles, snow and city sights. Soon, I will write about the exquisite happiness of sharing in Aly’s special day.

But I’m not going to do it now.

Now, I’m going drink my tea, I’m going to finish reading another book, and…nope, that’s it. It’s all I need.


*This quote can be found on page one of the book. And now my former writing center tutor self is going to give you the MLA citation:
Wolpe, David J. Why Faith Matters. HarperOne, 2009.

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