I want to write you a letter—but I feel I must preface this letter with the situation that brought this about.
Ahem [*clears throat* a.k.a. *cracks fingers poised above the keyboard*]
I never hesitate to write negative blog posts…though maybe “negative” isn’t exactly the right word. A lot of my posts are spontaneous, and if I happen to be having a crappy day, a tired day, a worrisome day, that seeps into my writing. This is a twenty-something lifestyle blog, after all, and life isn’t always hunky dory. I’m not afraid to say I’ve been crying or stressed or straight up freaking out.
Whenever I write something less than 100 percent smiles and sunshine, I always get concerned comments from people. Sometimes I read between the lines; sometimes they flat out ask me if I’m okay. Either way, I have a little moment of “Damn. They didn’t get it.” Also of “Whoa. Do I really sound so desperate?”
Look. Whatever I say here is public. I’m publishing a blog post out into the great world wide web, and you can take my words as you will. I am not your teacher grading you on your textual analysis. But, that being said, I hope you don’t think I’m a sad person. Yeah, I have my moments, but overall I’m a happy, optimistic person.
Have you seen that “it’s just a bad day, not a bad life” quote?
That’s what I’m getting at here.
We have a tendency to sugar coat everything online. We post our perfectly plated dinner but crop out the dirty dishes. We boomerang videos of glasses clinking in cheers but not of the hangover afterwards. We congratulate anniversaries and birthdays of loved ones without ever mentioning how those loved ones drive us nuts and make us mad. We edit our statuses, filter our photos, and curate our presence online.
I’m not saying sugar-coated social media is necessarily a bad thing. (This is coming from a girl who has unfriended many a person on Facebook because she doesn’t want to read their complaints.) I’d much rather be positive than negative, and I’ve used my fair share of Instagram filters. Buuut I don’t ever want to post false positivity. Which, with the aforementioned “spontaneous” (which in some ways is just a sugar-coated term for me procrastinating on everything) nature of my posts, is probably not going to be a problem for me.
I get annoyed when I feel like I need to write my emails in exclamation points so I don’t seem angry, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let the opinions of others dictate my blog posts, too.
So, please, don’t worry about me. I appreciate your concern, truly, but just know that I am okay. Like everyone else in this world I can be both happy and sad, loud and quiet, peaceful and worried. Yes, I cry. Yes, I worry if I’m living my best life. Yes, I freak out, and hell freaking yes do I put on that Avril Lavigne and wallow/revel in my angst. I’m not ashamed of it. In fact, I’m probably going to write a blog post about it.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. We’re really real here on Say Entirely. And I don’t think we’d have it any other way. And if you don’t like it…too bad.
But let’s get back to this letter business. Because I didn’t set out to be confrontational. (This post can be Exhibit A in the “Tierney Blogs ‘Spontaneously'” case.) Here goes.
I—to use the most cliche of middle school puberty phrases—have been through quite the roller coaster of emotions lately. I’ve been happy, seen great theater, spent time with loved ones, and I’ve also been sad, felt burnt out, spent sleepless nights.
But, the good has outweighed the bad.
Recently, someone has given me flowers. Recently, someone has mailed me a beautiful card. And I really want to keep the goodness going and pass on those yay-ness vibes to you.
So…hi. Wherever you are, whoever you are, I’m sending my love.
Maybe you’ve been having a string of shitty days. I’m so sorry. Please know that I’m here for you. Or, maybe you’ve been having a streak of sunshine and rainbows. I’m so happy for you! [Note: exclamation point there to express genuine excitement.] Whatever your situation, I hope you have someone to hug, some outlet to express yourself, and something exciting to look forward to. I hope that, no matter how busy or empty your schedule is, you stop to enjoy the little moments that make the daily grind worthwhile.
While I’m writing you this letter, I’m cozy in one of my fattiest sweatshirts. I have a steamy mug of tea, flowers on the table, and it’s finally stopped raining. The clouds are tinged with rose and the light coming in my window looks like serenity. I’m wrapping all these peaceful thoughts up in brainwaves and sending them to you.
You matter. You are enough. Let your light shine out into the world, because the world deserves to have more of you. And you deserve it, too.
All my love,